Being less busy

January 19, 2018January 19, 2018Leave a comment

When you live in the city (any city) you tend to forget how it feels to do less. Your every being is aching to do less, have more time, enjoy more, have more fun, but due to obligations it just never happens.

So……here is my story and the wonderful affect it had on our lives when we started doing less, being less busy, and just be…..I always needed more hours in the day of what is available, I was always late, I was always speeding (I had a file for all my speeding tickets), and I constantly had a feeling of being rushed. All the things that give you lots and lots of stress, headaches and unhappiness. I never had time to spend quality time with my children, because by the time I see them it was late and we still had to make and eat dinner, bath and be in bed on time in order to start early the next day and just do it all over again. We lived for weekends, when we can just have a little bit of less rushing around, however there were still the grocery shopping (which in itself is one big torture). Just imagine your Saturday morning start with searching for parking for an hour, shuffling in a grocery store because there are so many people, and then again standing in a queue to pay all your groceries for another hour. That is not a live!!

Luckily we are in the position to relocate anywhere in the world. I can’t really work anymore, but have lots and lots more time to do the things that really make me happy. (like writing, painting, gardening) We have lots of open space around us, about 5 hectare, no traffic and I can do my groceries anytime of the day. Even though our income has decreased by half, our well-being, happiness and quality time with the kids has increased 3 times. It’s nothing to just sit on the patio and just BE – the only rushed thing that I must do is breathe – other than that I can just enjoy the peace and quite and beautiful views.

When we have friends visiting I can immediately see who are the ones that come from the city, and who are those who know the magic of doing less, enjoying live more, and appreciate being unbusy. The friends from the city can’t sit still for more than 10 min, then they must get up and do something. Don’t misunderstand me, I also love doing stuff and hate it to not have something to do, but doing nothing sometimes is also doing something.

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Go into this week with the attitude that your peace, your health of mind and your heart mean more than getting everything else done. That your smile matters. That feeling rested matters. That holding the hand of your loved ones matter. So pause lots, function at a pace that doesn’t pull you apart. Honour the things that make your feel good inside, the things that make you feel alive. Give time to those things this week. Make time the fit it is, by giving it to what really matters to you. – S.C.Lourie from Butterflies and Pebbles

Please follow BecomingUnbusy. It gives my inspiration everyday.

Kids+HSP+The World

May 26, 2017May 26, 2017Leave a comment

Most of you probably know ‘Scary Mommy‘, if you don’t by now, please sign up. It is an amazing blog, which I, for one, cannot live without. I’ve recently read a post and could so relate to it….Struggles of Highly Sensitive Poeple (HSP). I always wondered why I felt so drained after my kids had a bad day, or I just saw a homeless person walking down the street. Now I know. Jill Smokler and her team of scary mums have the ability to post just the right content at the right time and every time I read an article I can so relate to it. Thanks to all the wonderful writers at Scary Mommy.

I absolutely love this feeling that you are not alone in this world with this ‘thing’ (being an HSP, introvert mum with an extreme hatred of any loud/noisy sounds) that you are struggling with. That made me wonder. How do you go about and teach ‘coping skills’ to your own children? How do you help them cope with their feelings, especially in today’s world where there is so much information going about. I, for one, really felt like a very bad mum, as every article I read tells you something else you must do. That made me think, and I realised I must just follow my heart and must decide on one thing and then hold on to that for life. I must make that my “life zone” when it comes to my children. So, here’s my list that I live by now. Note that as I haven’t researched every aspect, especially how you handle the more difficult situations, a second post will follow. I specifically talk about things like how to teach your 5 year-old what does Emotional Intelligence mean, or how do you teach your 8 year-old to really problem solve a difficult problem. These, I promise, I will research intensively and then share my thoughts with you.

But, for now, here’s my list of how I will raise my children, in order to give a better, kinder, nicer adults back to the world.

Some practical things:

I will always play their favourite game with them (reminding myself constantly that this might also change over the years as they grow older).
Read them a book. Luckily that will not be difficult, as we are all bookworms and love reading.
Ask them questions about their day, every day.
Become the best role model I can be; this means-
- always admit my mistakes and apologise for them,
- talk about problems and finding solutions,
- find time to take care of myself, only then can I take care of other.
Teach them values
- I will teach them every day to be kind, this includes to animals, people, and plants,
- I will try and make them take responsibility for their actions and stick to their commitments. It is always easier to just give up, but it is not always the right thing to do.
Teach them gratitude
- I will remind them to be grateful in everyday life, for everything they have or don’t have,
- I will teach them to show respect and appreciation for all people in their lives.
I will try and show them the bigger picture
- I will show them empathy, and hopefully, they will also one day comfort a crying friend and/or reach out to the new classmate,
- I will teach them about all the different people and their lives. I will tell them about all the different religions, beliefs, communities and countries,
- I will make sure they know that life is more than just going to school every day; that one day there will also be a life after school, after studies, after marriage and after having children.

So, here’s to Happy Kids+HSP+The World. Let’s teach them kindness, and the world might be a better place.

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Slowing down & enjoying the simple life

January 25, 2017January 25, 2017Leave a comment

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I just read that there is a new book on the market that everybody should read. It’s called THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK by Mark Manson. In short, he focuses on the fact that life is hard, and that you must rather learn to deal with it and not just expect everything to be positive, to actually ignore the let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected our society. We’re busy spoiling our generation, by rewarding them gold medals just by showing up…and that ain’t on. Life is hard, and the secret is that you must enjoy, appreciate and be grateful for what you have, who you are and where you live.

The simple truth is that we are busy chasing things that aren’t real. Hence, my heading “slowing down & enjoying the simple life”, everybody is searching frantically for the best, most beautiful house, best clothes, fastest car….and if it isn’t working just go and buy a new one. We are teaching our children that everything is replaceable, that money can fix anything, and being the most beautiful, with the best hair due, best make-up and best-manicured nails are the things that make us happy….guess what, that isn’t true.

So…this year I’m pressing pause on a lot of things and rather live out my toolkit gained over the years. I’m sharing it with you, hoping that you will be able to take one of them home and live a better, happier life.

Define your goals and share them with family, friends and colleagues so that they can understand you.
Plan, plan, plan – set goals and review them. If you don’t have a plan how would you know when you get there?
Always be yourself – no-one else is better qualified.
Be happy – the purpose of life is happiness and the key to happiness is in your own hands.
Always continue to learn – you’re never too old!!
Say ‘I’m sorry’
Keep demanding excellence for yourself
Just be happy!!!

Fun in the sun ’16

January 25, 2017January 25, 2017Leave a comment

For the first time in 4 years, we went back to my childhood holiday destination, on the West Coast of South Africa, called Strandfontein. It brought back so many memories, but most of all it was so nice to see my children enjoy it. They loved the freedom that came with a camping-at-the-sea holiday. I gave them total freedom and they were able to come and go as they please (but, as they are still under 12, with a strict clock-in time of 8:00 pm).

See the magic of the West Coast of South Africa.

The best part of a sea holiday is the new friends you make.

Then there is the most beautiful beaches and views.

Last, but not least is the best sunset….

xmas ’16

November 29, 2016November 29, 2016Leave a comment

Wow…and so 2016 also comes to an end. For this year we don’t have a lot of words, let’s face it, it was a rough year. At least we have something to look forward too…….sun, sea and family time.

Leave the Trump at home, forget Brexit, after all, most of the people didn’t even know what is the meaning, as the question “What is the EU?” has spiked in popularity online. Pray for all in the Isis attacks and send your kids overseas to study. After all, who can learn anything during the chaos that came with FeesMustFall?

Enjoy, love and cherish everyone close to you, and let’s try to make 2017 awesome.

We promised ourselves that one day when the kids are old enough, we will have our white Xmas. In the meantime, we can only dream.

There is absolutely nothing more magical than a white Xmas.

We just came back from a Xmas tree hunt…literally searching the forest for the best natural, live Xmas tree. I’m not a big fan of all the plastic, fake decorations in the shops. I prefer the homemade, real decorations with character, and made with love.