Vellies

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I notice that there is a new fad these days….a “vellie-craze”. I remember when I was still a youngster, “vellies” were the shoe to wear, and then it died a drawn-out death while all the new fashionable shoes came on the market. But, these days they’re really making an entrance again and you get the most beautiful designs, in the most beautiful colours. I’m certain when you put them on your feet it’s like walking in a spa, where only your feet gets pampered all day long.

Even though I’m sure they are very comfortable, and they look great with any outfit (after all wearing flats are in) I’m still a little bit hesitant to get a pair. You see I’m one of those, the crazy people, well, I would think the more healthier people. The I-don’t-eat-meat-people, therefore I don’t kill animals. So….to get your beautifully designed “vellies” I’m sure a 100+ cattle must have been slaughtered to make them. (Well, these days you never know….it might even be a little donkey that were under the knife).

So, since the fad has started I have these very contradicting emotions about getting a pair. You see, I don’t eat meat, BUT….I love beautiful things. I love natural materials….like cotton, silk, wool, and leather, and I hate ‘fake’. This really makes it very difficult for me.

After a very long restless night I’ve decided NOT to get a pair. Like food, there are a lot of other shoes I can wear which is as comfortable and as pretty as the “vellies” you find these days. Therefore I don’t have to be part of the new fad, I don’t have to get a pair, and I will be OK wearing any other pretty shoes.  After all I don’t like it to always jump on the bandwagon with everybody else……I would rather do my own thing, follow my own style, and still be comfortable in my own skin. Knowing I didn’t share in the enjoyment of wearing something that was made of another living being’s skin.

After all, we are all unique and isn’t it better to be yourself, than jump in the fire with the rest of the clan.

Just a big, fat thanks!!

I love beautiful photographs and images, as well as expansive collections. All the wonderfull stuff people display on shelves fascinates me. Images on my site enhance my posts and therefor I would like to say a big, fat thanks to Pinterest for all the beautiful photos and images of our lovely ‘vellies’.

Kids+HSP+The World

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Most of you probably know ‘Scary Mommy‘, if you don’t by now, please sign up. It is an amazing blog, which I, for one, cannot live without. I’ve recently read a post and could so relate to it….Struggles of Highly Sensitive Poeple (HSP). I always wondered why I felt so drained after my kids had a bad day, or I just saw a homeless person walking down the street. Now I know.  Jill Smokler  and her team of scary mums have the ability to post just the right content at the right time and every time I read an article I can so relate to it. Thanks to all the wonderful writers at Scary Mommy.

I absolutely love this feeling that you are not alone in this world with this ‘thing’ (being an HSP, introvert mum with an extreme hatred of any loud/noisy sounds) that you are struggling with. That made me wonder. How do you go about and teach ‘coping skills’ to your own children? How do you help them cope with their feelings, especially in today’s world where there is so much information going about. I, for one, really felt like a very bad mum, as every article I read tells you something else you must do. That made me think, and I realised I must just follow my heart and must decide on one thing and then hold on to that for life. I must make that my “life zone” when it comes to my children. So, here’s my list that I live by now. Note that as I haven’t researched every aspect, especially how you handle the more difficult situations, a second post will follow. I specifically talk about things like how to teach your 5 year-old what does Emotional Intelligence mean, or how do you teach your 8 year-old to really problem solve a difficult problem. These, I promise, I will research intensively and then share my thoughts with you.

But, for now, here’s my list of how I will raise my children, in order to give a better, kinder, nicer adults back to the world.

Some practical things:

  • I will always play their favourite game with them (reminding myself constantly that this might also change over the years as they grow older).
  • Read them a book. Luckily that will not be difficult, as we are all bookworms and love reading.
  • Ask them questions about their day, every day.
  • Become the best role model I can be; this means-
    • always admit my mistakes and apologise for them,
    • talk about problems and finding solutions,
    • find time to take care of myself, only then can I take care of other.
  • Teach them values
    • I will teach them every day to be kind, this includes to animals, people, and plants,
    • I will try and make them take responsibility for their actions and stick to their commitments. It is always easier to just give up, but it is not always the right thing to do.
  • Teach them gratitude
    • I will remind them to be grateful in everyday life, for everything they have or don’t have,
    • I will teach them to show respect and appreciation for all people in their lives.
  • I will try and show them the bigger picture
    • I will show them empathy, and hopefully, they will also one day comfort a crying friend and/or reach out to the new classmate,
    • I will teach them about all the different people and their lives. I will tell them about all the different religions, beliefs, communities and countries,
    • I will make sure they know that life is more than just going to school every day; that one day there will also be a life after school, after studies, after marriage and after having children.

So, here’s to Happy Kids+HSP+The World. Let’s teach them kindness, and the world might be a better place.

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The Hard Truth {Misophonia}

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Misophonia, literally “hatred of sound,” was proposed in 2000 as a disorder in which negative emotions, thoughts, and physical reactions are triggered by specific sounds.

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As per Wikipedia this means you literally hate sound. Now, if you are a mom with two busy, very loud “munchkins” it can literally drive you up the wall. I became aware of this funny feeling deep inside me after I made the huge decision to stop being a working mom and just be a normal mom, staying at home, enjoying and getting to know my children.

One day, on a sunny afternoon, we had a play-date and my son’s best friend, a very sweet little girl, came over to play. She was the sweetest little thing with the highest pitch voice I’ve ever heard, and that day I totally lost it. I locked myself in the bathroom for the most of the afternoon, histerically screaming they must keep it down, be quite, stop yelling, stop running, etc, etc. and all they did was being kids. Since that day I can’t stand any loud noises, anything from a lot of people talking, the tv being on to loud, kids playing and screaming and running around, my husband playing with the dogs, even the washing machine spinning….all is just too much and it literally feels like my head wants to explode. I cannot work or concentrate when people are around me talking, fiddling or even eating. I thought I was going crazy, so….I did what I do best….I started researching, reading, asking questions. And guess what, there is nothing wrong with me….well…there is actually a brain disorder called Misophonia…it means your brain aren’t equipped to handle a lot of loud noises and then it does what it does best when in distress….yes, I’m talking about the fight or flight reaction….In my case I literally start to scream at anybody, I get like an anxiety attack, I can’t breathe and feel like there is a time bomb in my head that’s gonna go off any minute.

The worst of the worst is that your family doesn’t understand this. They think your ‘funny’ or ‘weird’ or just having a bad day. This is probably the most lonely disorder, as nobody gets it.

Portrait business woman screaming at street car traffic

So, to all the moms out there that feels they’re going crazy…you’re not…I get it….we just not emotionally equipped to deal with any loud noises.

For more info visit Misophonia Online website.

 

Slowing down & enjoying the simple life

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I just read that there is a new book on the market that everybody should read. It’s called THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK by Mark Manson. In short, he focuses on the fact that life is hard, and that you must rather learn to deal with it and not just expect everything to be positive, to actually ignore the let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected our society. We’re busy spoiling our generation, by rewarding them gold medals just by showing up…and that ain’t on. Life is hard, and the secret is that you must enjoy, appreciate and be grateful for what you have, who you are and where you live.

The simple truth is that we are busy chasing things that aren’t real. Hence, my heading “slowing down & enjoying the simple life”, everybody is searching frantically for the best, most beautiful house, best clothes, fastest car….and if it isn’t working just go and buy a new one. We are teaching our children that everything is replaceable, that money can fix anything, and being the most beautiful, with the best hair due, best make-up and best-manicured nails are the things that make us happy….guess what, that isn’t true.

So…this year I’m pressing pause on a lot of things and rather live out my toolkit gained over the years. I’m sharing it with you, hoping that you will be able to take one of them home and live a better, happier life.

  • Define your goals and share them with family, friends and colleagues so that they can understand you.
  • Plan, plan, plan – set goals and review them. If you don’t have a plan how would you know when you get there?
  • Always be yourself – no-one else is better qualified.
  • Be happy – the purpose of life is happiness and the key to happiness is in your own hands.
  • Always continue to learn – you’re never too old!!
  • Say ‘I’m sorry’
  • Keep demanding excellence for yourself
  • Just be happy!!!