HSP – Life Zone

Most of you probably know ‘Scary Mommy‘, if you don’t by now, please sign up. It is an amazing blog, which I, for one, cannot live without. I’ve recently read a post and could so relate to it….Struggles of Highly Sensitive Poeple (HSP). I always wondered why I felt so drained after my kids had a bad day, or I just saw a homeless person walking down the street. Now I know. Jill Smokler and her team of scary mums have the ability to post just the right content at the right time and every time I read an article I can so relate to it. Thanks to all the wonderful writers at Scary Mommy.

I absolutely love this feeling that you are not alone in this world with this ‘thing’ (being an HSP, introvert mum with an extreme hatred of any loud/noisy sounds) that you are struggling with. That made me wonder. How do you go about and teach ‘coping skills’ to your own children? How do you help them cope with their feelings, especially in today’s world where there is so much information going about. I, for one, really felt like a very bad mum, as every article I read tells you something else you must do. That made me think, and I realised I must just follow my heart and must decide on one thing and then hold on to that for life. I must make that my “life zone” when it comes to my children. So, here’s my list that I live by now. Note that as I haven’t researched every aspect, especially how you handle the more difficult situations, a second post will follow. I specifically talk about things like how to teach your 5 year-old what does Emotional Intelligence mean, or how do you teach your 8 year-old to really problem solve a difficult problem. These, I promise, I will research intensively and then share my thoughts with you.

But, for now, here’s my list of how I will raise my children, in order to give a better, kinder, nicer adults back to the world.

Some practical things:

I will always play their favourite game with them (reminding myself constantly that this might also change over the years as they grow older).
Read them a book. Luckily that will not be difficult, as we are all bookworms and love reading.
Ask them questions about their day, every day.
Become the best role model I can be; this means-
- always admit my mistakes and apologise for them,
- talk about problems and finding solutions,
- find time to take care of myself, only then can I take care of other.
Teach them values
- I will teach them every day to be kind, this includes to animals, people, and plants,
- I will try and make them take responsibility for their actions and stick to their commitments. It is always easier to just give up, but it is not always the right thing to do.
Teach them gratitude
- I will remind them to be grateful in everyday life, for everything they have or don’t have,
- I will teach them to show respect and appreciation for all people in their lives.
I will try and show them the bigger picture
- I will show them empathy, and hopefully, they will also one day comfort a crying friend and/or reach out to the new classmate,
- I will teach them about all the different people and their lives. I will tell them about all the different religions, beliefs, communities and countries,
- I will make sure they know that life is more than just going to school every day; that one day there will also be a life after school, after studies, after marriage and after having children.

So, here’s to Happy Kids+HSP+The World. Let’s teach them kindness, and the world might be a better place.

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Misophonia, literally “hatred of sound,” was proposed in 2000 as a disorder in which negative emotions, thoughts, and physical reactions are triggered by specific sounds.

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As per Wikipedia this means you literally hate sound. Now, if you are a mom with two busy, very loud “munchkins” it can literally drive you up the wall. I became aware of this funny feeling deep inside me after I made the huge decision to stop being a working mom and just be a normal mom, staying at home, enjoying and getting to know my children.

One day, on a sunny afternoon, we had a play-date and my son’s best friend, a very sweet little girl, came over to play. She was the sweetest little thing with the highest pitch voice I’ve ever heard, and that day I totally lost it. I locked myself in the bathroom for the most of the afternoon, histerically screaming they must keep it down, be quite, stop yelling, stop running, etc, etc. and all they did was being kids. Since that day I can’t stand any loud noises, anything from a lot of people talking, the tv being on to loud, kids playing and screaming and running around, my husband playing with the dogs, even the washing machine spinning….all is just too much and it literally feels like my head wants to explode. I cannot work or concentrate when people are around me talking, fiddling or even eating. I thought I was going crazy, so….I did what I do best….I started researching, reading, asking questions. And guess what, there is nothing wrong with me….well…there is actually a brain disorder called Misophonia…it means your brain aren’t equipped to handle a lot of loud noises and then it does what it does best when in distress….yes, I’m talking about the fight or flight reaction….In my case I literally start to scream at anybody, I get like an anxiety attack, I can’t breathe and feel like there is a time bomb in my head that’s gonna go off any minute.

The worst of the worst is that your family doesn’t understand this. They think your ‘funny’ or ‘weird’ or just having a bad day. This is probably the most lonely disorder, as nobody gets it.