Being less busy

January 19, 2018January 19, 2018Leave a comment

When you live in the city (any city) you tend to forget how it feels to do less. Your every being is aching to do less, have more time, enjoy more, have more fun, but due to obligations it just never happens.

So……here is my story and the wonderful affect it had on our lives when we started doing less, being less busy, and just be…..I always needed more hours in the day of what is available, I was always late, I was always speeding (I had a file for all my speeding tickets), and I constantly had a feeling of being rushed. All the things that give you lots and lots of stress, headaches and unhappiness. I never had time to spend quality time with my children, because by the time I see them it was late and we still had to make and eat dinner, bath and be in bed on time in order to start early the next day and just do it all over again. We lived for weekends, when we can just have a little bit of less rushing around, however there were still the grocery shopping (which in itself is one big torture). Just imagine your Saturday morning start with searching for parking for an hour, shuffling in a grocery store because there are so many people, and then again standing in a queue to pay all your groceries for another hour. That is not a live!!

Luckily we are in the position to relocate anywhere in the world. I can’t really work anymore, but have lots and lots more time to do the things that really make me happy. (like writing, painting, gardening) We have lots of open space around us, about 5 hectare, no traffic and I can do my groceries anytime of the day. Even though our income has decreased by half, our well-being, happiness and quality time with the kids has increased 3 times. It’s nothing to just sit on the patio and just BE – the only rushed thing that I must do is breathe – other than that I can just enjoy the peace and quite and beautiful views.

When we have friends visiting I can immediately see who are the ones that come from the city, and who are those who know the magic of doing less, enjoying live more, and appreciate being unbusy. The friends from the city can’t sit still for more than 10 min, then they must get up and do something. Don’t misunderstand me, I also love doing stuff and hate it to not have something to do, but doing nothing sometimes is also doing something.

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Go into this week with the attitude that your peace, your health of mind and your heart mean more than getting everything else done. That your smile matters. That feeling rested matters. That holding the hand of your loved ones matter. So pause lots, function at a pace that doesn’t pull you apart. Honour the things that make your feel good inside, the things that make you feel alive. Give time to those things this week. Make time the fit it is, by giving it to what really matters to you. – S.C.Lourie from Butterflies and Pebbles

Please follow BecomingUnbusy. It gives my inspiration everyday.

Karma

May 24, 2017May 24, 2017Leave a comment

What goes around comes around

Keep your circle positive

Speak only good words

Think good thoughts

Do good deeds

Always be kind

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The Hard Truth {Misophonia}

January 25, 2017May 26, 2017Leave a comment

Misophonia, literally “hatred of sound,” was proposed in 2000 as a disorder in which negative emotions, thoughts, and physical reactions are triggered by specific sounds.

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As per Wikipedia this means you literally hate sound. Now, if you are a mom with two busy, very loud “munchkins” it can literally drive you up the wall. I became aware of this funny feeling deep inside me after I made the huge decision to stop being a working mom and just be a normal mom, staying at home, enjoying and getting to know my children.

One day, on a sunny afternoon, we had a play-date and my son’s best friend, a very sweet little girl, came over to play. She was the sweetest little thing with the highest pitch voice I’ve ever heard, and that day I totally lost it. I locked myself in the bathroom for the most of the afternoon, histerically screaming they must keep it down, be quite, stop yelling, stop running, etc, etc. and all they did was being kids. Since that day I can’t stand any loud noises, anything from a lot of people talking, the tv being on to loud, kids playing and screaming and running around, my husband playing with the dogs, even the washing machine spinning….all is just too much and it literally feels like my head wants to explode. I cannot work or concentrate when people are around me talking, fiddling or even eating. I thought I was going crazy, so….I did what I do best….I started researching, reading, asking questions. And guess what, there is nothing wrong with me….well…there is actually a brain disorder called Misophonia…it means your brain aren’t equipped to handle a lot of loud noises and then it does what it does best when in distress….yes, I’m talking about the fight or flight reaction….In my case I literally start to scream at anybody, I get like an anxiety attack, I can’t breathe and feel like there is a time bomb in my head that’s gonna go off any minute.

The worst of the worst is that your family doesn’t understand this. They think your ‘funny’ or ‘weird’ or just having a bad day. This is probably the most lonely disorder, as nobody gets it.

Portrait business woman screaming at street car traffic

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So, to all the moms out there that feels they’re going crazy…you’re not…I get it….we just not emotionally equipped to deal with any loud noises.

For more info visit Misophonia Online website.

Slowing down & enjoying the simple life

January 25, 2017January 25, 2017Leave a comment

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I just read that there is a new book on the market that everybody should read. It’s called THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK by Mark Manson. In short, he focuses on the fact that life is hard, and that you must rather learn to deal with it and not just expect everything to be positive, to actually ignore the let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected our society. We’re busy spoiling our generation, by rewarding them gold medals just by showing up…and that ain’t on. Life is hard, and the secret is that you must enjoy, appreciate and be grateful for what you have, who you are and where you live.

The simple truth is that we are busy chasing things that aren’t real. Hence, my heading “slowing down & enjoying the simple life”, everybody is searching frantically for the best, most beautiful house, best clothes, fastest car….and if it isn’t working just go and buy a new one. We are teaching our children that everything is replaceable, that money can fix anything, and being the most beautiful, with the best hair due, best make-up and best-manicured nails are the things that make us happy….guess what, that isn’t true.

So…this year I’m pressing pause on a lot of things and rather live out my toolkit gained over the years. I’m sharing it with you, hoping that you will be able to take one of them home and live a better, happier life.

Define your goals and share them with family, friends and colleagues so that they can understand you.
Plan, plan, plan – set goals and review them. If you don’t have a plan how would you know when you get there?
Always be yourself – no-one else is better qualified.
Be happy – the purpose of life is happiness and the key to happiness is in your own hands.
Always continue to learn – you’re never too old!!
Say ‘I’m sorry’
Keep demanding excellence for yourself
Just be happy!!!

Fun in the sun ’16

January 25, 2017January 25, 2017Leave a comment

For the first time in 4 years, we went back to my childhood holiday destination, on the West Coast of South Africa, called Strandfontein. It brought back so many memories, but most of all it was so nice to see my children enjoy it. They loved the freedom that came with a camping-at-the-sea holiday. I gave them total freedom and they were able to come and go as they please (but, as they are still under 12, with a strict clock-in time of 8:00 pm).

See the magic of the West Coast of South Africa.