Coping with Change

July 29, 2021Leave a comment

Coping with change is difficult, especially if you are a 7-year old little boy who doesn’t understand life and, who doesn’t really want to grow up. This is my little boy…..the first child I’ve ever met that doesn’t really want to grow up, because when he grows up things will change. (his words) So, how do you teach your child to cope and accept change? Is this a coping skill he must just learn on his own as life goes on, or are there real things you can teach him?

The above paragraph I wrote about 3 years ago. Unfortunately, this was also the last time I’ve written anything in my ‘Life Zone’ blog. Life started, I got busy with ‘other’ things and I just didn’t have time / make time to write anymore. I’m not a good writer at all, but I like to put what is on my mind on paper. This is my way of processing things in order to figure it out and make sense of it.

We now find ourselves in a time of tremendous change and this question popped up in my mind again. The one thing that I’ve learned during this Covid-19 lock down period, is how easy it is to learn new skills or just rekindle old passions. As a child I always loved drawing and I started painting and drawing again. For some color-love please visit my Instagram page @tlgs.studio (The Little Green Shop)

So, to get back to coping with change. I’ve done a little bit of research and the one certainty that I could find is that, in live, everything will always change. We don’t have control over it, but what we can control is how to deal with the change and how to learn form the change. I’m a very organized person, who loves making lists and can very quickly think of the next arty / crafty thing I must / can do – I totally respect that everybody isn’t like that and for some people dealing with change can be difficult. So, how do you deal with change?

Firstly, realize that you feel stressed about the change that is happening in your live. Change and stress always go hand-in-hand. For a very young 7-year old this can be difficult, so I taught my children that whenever they are sad for a long time (day or more) or if they don’t feel well in the stomach that the first thing they must do is come and tell either myself or their Dad. They might not yet know what is stress, but they do know when they are sad about something.

Secondly, realize that all change aren’t necessarily bad, but it will always be accompanied by stress. Hence, the reason why self-knowledge / knowing yourself is so important. Know how you will react or feel during certain situations.

“TAKE LIFE DAY BY DAY AND BE GRATEFUL FOR THE LITTLE THINGS. DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN WHAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL. ACCEPT IT AND MAKE THE BEST OF IT”

Being less busy

January 19, 2018January 19, 2018Leave a comment

When you live in the city (any city) you tend to forget how it feels to do less. Your every being is aching to do less, have more time, enjoy more, have more fun, but due to obligations it just never happens.

So……here is my story and the wonderful affect it had on our lives when we started doing less, being less busy, and just be…..I always needed more hours in the day of what is available, I was always late, I was always speeding (I had a file for all my speeding tickets), and I constantly had a feeling of being rushed. All the things that give you lots and lots of stress, headaches and unhappiness. I never had time to spend quality time with my children, because by the time I see them it was late and we still had to make and eat dinner, bath and be in bed on time in order to start early the next day and just do it all over again. We lived for weekends, when we can just have a little bit of less rushing around, however there were still the grocery shopping (which in itself is one big torture). Just imagine your Saturday morning start with searching for parking for an hour, shuffling in a grocery store because there are so many people, and then again standing in a queue to pay all your groceries for another hour. That is not a live!!

Luckily we are in the position to relocate anywhere in the world. I can’t really work anymore, but have lots and lots more time to do the things that really make me happy. (like writing, painting, gardening) We have lots of open space around us, about 5 hectare, no traffic and I can do my groceries anytime of the day. Even though our income has decreased by half, our well-being, happiness and quality time with the kids has increased 3 times. It’s nothing to just sit on the patio and just BE – the only rushed thing that I must do is breathe – other than that I can just enjoy the peace and quite and beautiful views.

When we have friends visiting I can immediately see who are the ones that come from the city, and who are those who know the magic of doing less, enjoying live more, and appreciate being unbusy. The friends from the city can’t sit still for more than 10 min, then they must get up and do something. Don’t misunderstand me, I also love doing stuff and hate it to not have something to do, but doing nothing sometimes is also doing something.

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Go into this week with the attitude that your peace, your health of mind and your heart mean more than getting everything else done. That your smile matters. That feeling rested matters. That holding the hand of your loved ones matter. So pause lots, function at a pace that doesn’t pull you apart. Honour the things that make your feel good inside, the things that make you feel alive. Give time to those things this week. Make time the fit it is, by giving it to what really matters to you. – S.C.Lourie from Butterflies and Pebbles

Please follow BecomingUnbusy. It gives my inspiration everyday.

Slowing down & enjoying the simple life

January 25, 2017January 25, 2017Leave a comment

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I just read that there is a new book on the market that everybody should read. It’s called THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK by Mark Manson. In short, he focuses on the fact that life is hard, and that you must rather learn to deal with it and not just expect everything to be positive, to actually ignore the let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected our society. We’re busy spoiling our generation, by rewarding them gold medals just by showing up…and that ain’t on. Life is hard, and the secret is that you must enjoy, appreciate and be grateful for what you have, who you are and where you live.

The simple truth is that we are busy chasing things that aren’t real. Hence, my heading “slowing down & enjoying the simple life”, everybody is searching frantically for the best, most beautiful house, best clothes, fastest car….and if it isn’t working just go and buy a new one. We are teaching our children that everything is replaceable, that money can fix anything, and being the most beautiful, with the best hair due, best make-up and best-manicured nails are the things that make us happy….guess what, that isn’t true.

So…this year I’m pressing pause on a lot of things and rather live out my toolkit gained over the years. I’m sharing it with you, hoping that you will be able to take one of them home and live a better, happier life.

Define your goals and share them with family, friends and colleagues so that they can understand you.
Plan, plan, plan – set goals and review them. If you don’t have a plan how would you know when you get there?
Always be yourself – no-one else is better qualified.
Be happy – the purpose of life is happiness and the key to happiness is in your own hands.
Always continue to learn – you’re never too old!!
Say ‘I’m sorry’
Keep demanding excellence for yourself
Just be happy!!!

Fun in the sun ’16

January 25, 2017January 25, 2017Leave a comment

For the first time in 4 years, we went back to my childhood holiday destination, on the West Coast of South Africa, called Strandfontein. It brought back so many memories, but most of all it was so nice to see my children enjoy it. They loved the freedom that came with a camping-at-the-sea holiday. I gave them total freedom and they were able to come and go as they please (but, as they are still under 12, with a strict clock-in time of 8:00 pm).

See the magic of the West Coast of South Africa.

The best part of a sea holiday is the new friends you make.

Then there is the most beautiful beaches and views.

Last, but not least is the best sunset….

Furry+Love

November 23, 2016November 23, 2016Leave a comment

To explain the life with your pets is to ask someone to imagine living without a BFF (best friend forever). You can’t really explain it if you are not a pet owner. In my case, I have 10, ranging from very big to very small. They keep me busy, they keep me young, and they are always there for me. Apparently, they have a lot of health benefits too, especially if you are alone, sick or selfish. If you are alone they are always there for you, they never judge, they are never jealous and they are ALWAYS happy to see you, sometimes even more than you are happy to see them. Yes, you do also get annoyed with them, especially if they jump on your white bed with their muddy paws, or if they dug out your newly planted rose garden. But, even though you get cross with them, you can’t live without them.

I’ve heard that some hospital recently agreed to allow senior, or terminally ill patients to have their beloved pet with them, and it helps them through their struggle or pain. AMAZING IDEA!!

When you own a pet you are not allowed to be selfish. They need food, water, comfortable bedding and constant playing and exercise. It forces you to care for something else besides yourself, and what people don’t always tell you is that you can actually have long, meaningful conversions with them, and they will help you during those hard times.

I was not even married when we decided to get the children, Ice and Chikita. We did a lot of research, before deciding which type of dog to get, and in the end, we’ve decided on a Siberian Husky called Ice. She was the most gentle animal I have ever met, her eyes really spoke to you. 6 months later she just had to have a sister, and then we’ve adopted Chikita. Yes, for those of you who doesn’t know you don’t actually have to buy a pet from a breeder. You can adopt them, and give another life a chance to happiness.

(If you’ve missed it, I’m begging everybody out there that if you decide to get a pet, adopt, don’t buy)

Ice and Chikita lived with us for 13 years, and they were the best companions anybody can ask for. My children met them and were able to get to know them, and grow up with them for a little while before old age took them away from us.

To this day, we still miss them and my kids still ask about them, even though we now have two new very energetic furry kids. So, all I ask of you is to love them, care for them, feed them, and give them a warm bed to sleep in, and you will have a BFF for life.